Today I took my 3 year old son to his Little Gym class. The events that transpired have been recorded for posterity. Names have not been changed to protect the innocent, because no one is truly innocent in this world, as far as I’m concerned.

The moms in my son’s Little Gym class are having the STUPIDEST conversation! And they won’t even include me in it :(

Melissa’s husband Tom is taking a business trip to Italy, she was invited but their kids have too much going on! I get that, but Italy!

Melissa is taking advantage of the time Tom’s in Italy to power wash the house. He doesn’t want to spend the money, but she’s doin it anyway! #burn

Jill carried twins full term without ever being on bed rest! You go girl!

Jill’s husband Jim got called to Turkey 3 weeks after the twins were born! Luckily her mom was able to help! It really does take a village.

Melissa’s daughter Isabel saw her friend’s dad and totally made Melissa stop the car and say hello. So cute. He used to play for Ohio State!

Theresa has a lot of cousins, but is only close with a few. Damn Theresa, don’t you know that’s how cousins work!

Theresa’s mom stll works, which is great because she didn’t work for a while and drove Theresa crazy! Moms need their own drama, am I right?

Melissa’s daughter Annie just started a ballet class. She’s doing great but is being so funny about the tutu! Her stocky frame isn’t helping :(

Melissa’s oldest, Mary Beth, is happy Annie’s doing ballet like her, but in her own way.

Melissa’s kids are allowed to pick instruments this year at school. Leaning toward clarinet, but don’t count out the flute!

Jill’s twin sisters played clarinet, Theresa played violin. Instruments Are so funny, they say so much about a person, don’t you think? Totally agree!

Melissa chipped a tooth last week. So glad she saw the bright side of a few hours at the dentist. With no kids, she almost fell asleep in the chair!

~ fin ~

Also, special thanks to Todd Stover (@maddad) for collecting and reordering the tweets and posting them on his tumblr!